Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
