So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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