first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
