why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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