just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
