I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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