Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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