I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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