i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
