I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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