dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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