got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize