We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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