I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
