It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
