oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
