I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
