if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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