U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
