I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize