i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
