I'm lost and stupid without you.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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