i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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