it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
