He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
