I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
