No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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