Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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