Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
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if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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