dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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