So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
