Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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