Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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