so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
