I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
