You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
a search helicopter?!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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