I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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