And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
