I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
