Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
