went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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