Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I love black thongs
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
