Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
