I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
