you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
