Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
