someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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