Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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