I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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