but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
