Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So vagazzling was a success
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
