I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
