i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
