I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
