I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
