i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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