someone get that fucking seahorse.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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