all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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