you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
