It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
