He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
