i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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