your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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