you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
