i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
